Track – By: Thad Cwiklinski

Running through dust clouds and barren wastelands, thundering hard on the plains, the York County School of Technology/York Catholic/York County Day track team is immersed in another successful year. And yes, contrary to popular belief, we do indeed have a track team, dear reader, as this author has been asked frequently by individuals who would trip over their own jaw if it dropped any lower at such earth-shaking news. It simply no longer gallops in the fields surrounding our fair school, nor weaves through the streets of York City. Personally, I find it is quite nice having access to the shining facilities of Tech, but there will always be a special place in my heart for the days of my youth, when my teammates and I ran around a soda can on a stick, and wildly celebrated the unexpected delight of winning a single meet. Including twenty or thirty athletes,  York County School of Technology Spartans, York Catholic Fighting Irish, and York County Day Greyhounds, combine to form the catchy acronym YCSTSYCFIYCDG, pronounced exactly how it spells. And what a season YCSTSYCFIYCDG is having!

The boys and girls have one loss each (the boys to Biglerville, the girls to Delone) but both have won two dual meets so far as well as the Spartan Invitational. The sense of comradery is stronger than any other team I’ve been on, not just track teams. Whether they are from Sparta, Ireland, or raised in a kennel (sorry Greyhounds) these people are some of the finest individuals I’ve met during my years in high school. The experience on the team has been something I would not trade for anything. The York County School of Technology Fighting Sparthounds (nah, its just Spartans) senior night is Tuesday May 21st at 3:30 at York County Tech. Come on out and support the team not only because we do indeed have one, but also because admission is free and we’d love to see you there.

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Tales from Pettisville, Volume 2: Commanders in Chief – By: Gus Landis

In the last installment of our series readers were given a look inside the corruption and haphazard stupidity rife within Pettisville only a year ago.  Understand, a year ago the streets of Pettisville were filthy, both figuratively and literally.  There are people you look for to help you clean up the streets.  In an action movie you would look for Liam Neeson, or maybe Jason Statham if you had a smaller budget.  In comics Batman is always lurking nearby and the Avengers are only an alien invasion away.  In many small towns like Pettisville people would look for those in positions of power: the mayor, police chief, fire chief, or local celebrities, but what about Pettisville.  Pettisville has a mayor, a police chief, a fire chief, and even a local celebrity; but all people, even celebrities, are can fall short of our expectations.

Pettisville Fire Chief Max Mercury has been on the job for only a few years; he took over after the former fire chief burned to death (Strangely enough it wasn’t a fire that got him, it was skin cancer from a tanning bed).  During Chief Mercury’s tenure there have been many fires in Pettisville, most of which have been responded to and several have even been contained if not put out by firefighters under Chief Mercury, take for example this article from last July:

Reporters caught up with the owner of Popular Designs to interview her about the fire that took place
early in the morning on July 23rd.  Luckily the store was closed and the fire caused no injuries.  Firefighter under fire chief Max Mercury arrived quickly to put out the small amount of flames that had spread through the studio and offices.  The quick response was both surprising, as the Pettisville Fire Department is not known for being prompt, and efficient, as the flames caused only minimal damage to Popular Designs. Chief Mercury could not provide a definitive cause of the fire, saying he’d “get around” to the investigation later.  The total losses to Popular Designs are still unknown but like the fire itself and the quality of this reporter’s writing they are expected to be minimal.

As evidenced by the article the people of Pettisville had no reasonable expectation of service, much less competent service from their own firefighters.  In fact we’ve investigated the Pettisville firehouse and found evidence of gross incompetence.  Oxygen tanks were filled with helium, balloons were filled with oxygen, the fire trucks were painted more of a rusty orange than fire engine red, and the firepole (used to speedily transverse the fire station in case of emergency) had been used for…unseemly activities.

However despite the trouble in their town, Pettisville’s populace is able to maintain a strikingly upbeat and happy attitude.  When asked how this was possible most citizens responded that they used an ancient and time honored medicinal cure for stress, alcohol.  Yes it’s true, Pettisville is home to a thriving nightlife, and only a lot of it involves criminal activity.  For proof we have only to turn to an article written last July by our source inside the Towne Crier.

While searching for the Towne Crier’s weatherman, who had been missing for two days due to his sever alcoholism, reporters entered Dylan’s Bar on Wall St. in Pettisville.  Although they were unable to find the weatherman they had been looking for the reporters found something else.  Local Bartender, Max Mercury, approached reporters about starting an advice column in the Towne Crier.  He told reporters that clearly Pettisville had a lot of issues and thought that the townspeople could use the kind of sage advice you can only get from a middle-aged bartender.  Starting in next week’s issue on August 3rd, Max will be answering your questions which you can send by mail, providing you have legally valid stamps, or you can fax your questions to the Towne Crier offices any time.  Look for “Behind The Bar” with Max Mercury in our next edition.

“Behind the Bar” became one of the most highly rated columns in Towne Crier history, and Bartender Max Mercury became a local celebrity.  He was of almost the same caliber as Country/Western music star, Max Mercury, a Pettisville native.

Pettisville’s mayor has run unopposed for a long time, almost 16 years, and rarely has anyone had anything bad to say about him.  Our source reported that some of that may have been due to the heavy handed censorship campaign he ran but nonetheless the numbers don’t lie.  Mayor Mercury has been elected 4 times with votes from anywhere between 28% and 100% of Pettisville’s electors.  However he won’t have to be worried about being elected anymore.

Max Mercury has declared himself Pettisville’s Eternal Mayor.  When asked why he made this decision Eternal Mayor Mercury said “I do everything around here already so why not make myself Eternal Mayor. It’s not such a bad job, I mean what else would I do, teach?”  Most people in Pettisville agreed that he’s not wrong and were pretty much okay with the decision.  For more information on Eternal Mayor Mercury check out his website at or find his facebook page.

This brief article was the only media reaction anywhere to Mayor Mercury’s decision.  Some of that may be due to the fact that Pettisville is a small town of little importance.  Not only that but it’s in Ohio so who outside Ohio would really care?  Either way residents of Pettisville agree, at least he’s not teaching.

Well this is the end of the article, and some of you may be asking, what about Pettisville’s finest, more importantly what about the Rivet Street Ripper Case that was the only reason anyone cared about Pettisville in the first place?  Not to worry, that’s all coming up in the next issue, because we’re trying to make money and dragging this thing out as long as possible is the best way to do that.  So watch out for our third and final issue, Tales from Pettisville, Volume 3: The Rivet Street Ripper.

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Summer Fruit Recipes – Alex Johnson and Kenny Clouser


Summer fruits are just around the corner.  This means strawberries, watermelon, blackberries, cantaloupes, blueberries, mangoes, and tomatoes are back.  We are going to share with you some summer fruit recipes.


What you need are some strawberries, chocolate syrup or melted chocolate chips, sugar, and whip cream.  You want to destem a strawberry either with scoop or a knife.  Next, you need to put the syrup or chocolate chips inside the strawberry where the stem was.  Then dip the strawberry in sugar.  The last thing is to put whip cream on the top of the strawberries. This sweet-chocolaty snacks helps you obtain your fruit servings in a tasty way!!!


What you need are about 8 cups of watermelon slices, frozen limeade, a cup of ginger ale, and ⅓ cup of water.  Let the limeade melt a little so you can put it in the blender.  Blend the limeade, watermelon, ginger ale, and water in the blender. This smoothie is refreshing on a hot summer day!!!


What you need are some blueberries and chocolate chip Eggo waffles.  Instead of putting the waffles in the toaster, you’re going to be putting them in the microwave.  But first stick some blueberries in the spaces where the chocolate chips are.  Now put the waffles in the microwave and follow the instructions on the box. Now you have flavorful waffles with antioxidant rich blueberries!!!


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The York Pizza Debate: DiCarlos vs Genova’s By: Katie Siple and Jordan Lesher


There are so many pizza places in York to go to, but by far the two that stand out the most are DiCarlos and Genova’s. Both are owned by two YC families, the Bahoufs and Grippis, respectively. But who has the best pizza? Katie Siple and Jordan Lesher decided to investigate.

Personally, Katie Siple prefers Genova’s to DiCarlos. She has grown up eating Genova’s in Spring Grove and pretty much goes there on a weekly basis. The staff is always so friendly and treats her like family. They even know her family’s order by heart – always a salad, mozzarella sticks, and a pepperoni pizza. Katie’s personal favorite part about Genova’s is the pepperoni pizza. She loves all of the quality, fresh ingredients they use. The best part? The traditional crust on the pizza. It is nice, crispy, and does not break when you fold it in half. Ranch dressing pairs perfectly with the oven baked Italian style pizza. DiCarlo’s can not top the secret, handed down for generations, amazing recipe for a heavenly pizza experience.

However, Jordan Lesher prefers DiCarlo’s pizza over Genova’s. After discovering it last summer while at a friend’s house, his family have become frequent regulars at DiCarlo’s, going as often as once or twice a week. The staff there know his entire family as soon as they walk in the door to DiCarlo’s modern looking interior on their 24 N. George Street location. He enjoys the restaurant’s open kitchen allowing the customer to watch the fresh baked Italian goodness being prepared right before the customer’s eyes. The best part of their pizza is the way they make it, not melting the cheese on after the pizza is baked in the oven, creating a product that is uniquely their own.The real question, does it truly have the upper hand over Genova’s in the battle of best pizza in York?

Katie and Jordan’s conclusion? They can not reach a conclusion. Both pizzas have their pros and cons with so many differences that you can’t just choose one winner. If this article does not make you hungry for pizza, then Jordan and Katie don’t know what will.

Photo Creds

Dicarlos Pizza


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D.C. Art Field Trip Kathleen Byrne

Art Trip

On Wednesday April 8, 2015, York Catholic High School juniors and seniors who take an art class took a field trip to the National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C. We departed around 8:15 a.m. and had finally arrived around 10:30 a.m. My group consisted of Kelsea Dvorak with her mother as our chaperon Brittany Maas, Catherine Doyle (a.k.a. Faffy), Catie Putnam, and myself. We decided to eat lunch first, made the realization that a lot of the modern art wing was closed for construction, and made our way into the larger museum. There was a lot of art to see and it felt like so little time to take it all in. We passed through rooms with beautiful paintings and sculptures. The artwork seemed endless and one room expanded into another and then another. The art was beautiful and frankly, I could have dedicated a whole day to examining these masterpieces. My favorite piece was Van Gogh’s self portrait. I admire Van Gogh’s work and his use of texture and color. I admired Monet’s pieces and Picasso’s as well. After examining beautiful masterpieces and rooms upon rooms of art, we decided to depart and head to the Air and Space Museum. The crowds were overwhelming which able us to look at only two of the exhibits. Then we decided to go head over to the National Museum of Natural History. When you walked in, you were greeted by a giant Elephant. We then made our way through the mammal exhibit as well as the ocean life room. We then departed from both of those rooms and headed back towards the bus drop off zone. While waiting for the bus, we all stood by the prismatic triangles and the beautiful water fountain. We posed for group pictures and then boarded the bus. From there we sat in a ton of traffic, attempted to get Mrs. Bajor to let us stop at McDonald’s, and played games like two truths and a lie. All in all, the art field trip was on great adventure spent with my friends. Jokes were told and art was examined. The art field trip was a masterpiece and picture perfect day.

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Mrs. Clarkson Stats Projects

Mrs. Clarkson statistics class worked on various random sampling projects. This article presents an overview of the surveyed topics this year students conducted and recorded.

How much does the average male or female teenager texts?
By Luca Grippi and Marissa Ressler

This survey is based on seven males and seven females. They were asked how many times a day they text and how long they pick up the phone and look at it. Who do you think texts more?

The average male teenager picks up his phone nearly nine and half times a day for a total of three minutes each time. The average female picks up her phone for more than nine and half times for an average of seven minutes. So if you guessed female, you were correct.


Average Hours of Sleep per Night
By Ryan Deporter and Madison Dormer

Twenty-one average high schoolers were surveyed and on average, males get 1.26 more hours of sleep than females. Teenagers overall get an average of 6.83 hours of sleep.

It is obvious that youths are not getting the recommended eight hours of sleep. Is it because of the stress, increased workloads, modern media?


How long does it take for YC Seniors to drive to school
By Alejandra De Jesus Pinto and Theodore Trapeni

Twenty-eight York Catholic seniors were surveyed on the amount of time they spend daily driving to school in the mornings. The following school districts or regions all represent the random sample of participants: Central, Dallastown, Dover, Maryland, North Eastern, Red Lion, Southwestern, Spring Grove, Suburban, Susquehanna, West Shore, and York City. Below are two tables, the top one represents the number of students in each district or region, the bottom one represents the amount of time spent traveling to school from each specific district or region.


Preferred Extracurricular Activity
By Emily Gruszczynski and Catherine Putnam

There are numerous extracurricular activities available at York Catholic and almost everyone is involved in something. What is the most popular here at York Catholic?  Seventy-five students within the sophomores, juniors and seniors classes,  completed the survey and chose between sports, theater, music, or other clubs. The sports category won by a landslide with 52%. However, this was easy to predict since there are many sports and most people participate in at least one. Whether this was their favorite type of extracurricular was the true test and it seemed to ring true. Second and third places were much closer together with music at 20% and theater at 19%. Meanwhile the other clubs category, including organizations such as student council and NHS, only amounted to 9%. This was expected as well. Though most students are members of a miscellaneous club, it’s rare for that to be their favorite activity. In total, 39 students chose sports, 15 chose music, 14 chose theater, and 7 chose other clubs.

EC ActivitiesCar owners vs non owners – Drivers vs non drivers
By Catherine Vizzard and Gus Landis

In surveying a random sampling of students in York Catholic’s senior class it was determined that a high number of students (75%) drive to school every morning.  However only 37.5% of students surveyed. personally own their cars.  That means that, following the rules of percentages, only 28% of drivers own their own cars.



How much time does seniors spend on social media on weeknights and weekends?
By Brady Wilking and Katie Siple

Our survey of homeroom 106, which is made up of 21 students was conducted to figure out on average how much time the typical senior student spend on social media websites on weeknights and how much time is spent on social media on weekends. The data collected from the results shows that the majority of senior students spend less time on average on social media websites on weekdays opposed to weekends. Of the 21 students surveyed 12 students spent a total of 2 hours or less on social media websites on weekdays. In addition, a total of 14 students of the same group said they spend more than 2+ hours on social media websites per night on the weekend. This data clearly shows that on average senior students spend more time on social media on the weekends than on week nights.

Senior Social Media

How Much TV Does the YC Seniors Watch?

By Nick Kiel and Mara Caruso

This stats project was based on sampling the seniors of YC how many hours of TV they watch a day and then find the average they watch a week. We decided to use Stratified Random Sample as our sampling method and start with the 7th person on the senior roster and then ask every 7th person until the end. We ended up with 13 subjects and we asked them to fill out on average how many hours a day they watch TV. Our results concluded that on average the YC seniors watch eleven hours and fifteen minutes of TV per week. On average the seniors watch five hours and fifteen minutes of TV on the weekends and then seven hours during the week, with Friday being the most popular day of the week.

Average time York Catholic seniors spend driving on the weekdays.
By. Paul Weisser and Anne Lehr

 Studies over the past years have shown a steady increase in amount of time young people spend driving. How could this increase in time driving impact our youth? Twenty-five students of the senior class were randomly selected to take a small survey asking them about their driving habits and extracurriculars. The survey found that seniors spend between 10-200 minutes with a standard deviation of 46.27 minutes driving on a given day, having an average of 85.2 minutes. Also, high school seniors participates in an average of 3.92 extracurriculars, within the range of 0-14 and standard deviation of 3.04 extracurriculars at YC. In  most cases, as the number of extracurriculars went up, so did the number of minutes spent driving. Although our country’s youth may only see the benefits and freedom of this increase in driving, it can have some consequences that most do not think about, such as increased car accidents.

Senior Drivers


Seventh grade sleeping habits
By Katie Haskell & Dong Kim

Curious about how much sleep the youngest bunch of the YC family gets, they gave a homeroom of 17 seventh graders a 2-question survey. The survey asked only the person’s gender and how many hours of sleep they get every night. Out of the 9 boys and 8 girls, the majority of them got the advised 8 hours of sleep every night recommended by major health organizations for growing pre-teens. Only one of the students got as little as 5 a night, which the seniors advised him to work on since sleep deprivation normally hits stressed students in higher grades. The highest number was 9 hours of sleep every night. Hearing that this student gets 9 hours of sleep strikes envy into the heart of any student who stays up to ungodly hours completing assignments. The average number of hours for both males and females was 6; sleep researchers say the required amount for 12-18 year -old is between 8 and 10.

Sleeping hours

Comparison of 8th grade, 10th grade, and 12th grade social media usage
By. Meredith Beecher and Kathleen Byrne

This survey is based on one eighth grade homeroom, one tenth grade homeroom, and one twelfth grade homeroom. The questions asked were, “how many hours a day do you spend on Twitter?”, “How many hours a day do you spend on Instagram?”, and “How many hours a day do you spend on Facebook?” For the eighth grade the average for hours spent on Twitter was .0526, Instagram was 1.65, and Facebook was .131. For the tenth grade the average of hours spent on Twitter was 1.020, Instagram was 1.604, and Facebook at .75.  For the twelfth grade the average of hours spent on Twitter was .67, Instagram was .75, and Facebook at .0107. In the graph for the twelfth grade you see that Facebook and Twitter use are pretty even whereas Facebook is measurably higher.  For the graph of the tenth grade, Facebook is the smallest, with Twitter being slightly larger in height. The eighth grade graph clearly shows that Twitter is neglected whereas Instagram is used widely as well as Facebook. In the graph for all grades we see that Twitter is used most among sophomores, seniors come in second, and eighth graders in third. For Instagram usage eighth grade leads, with sophomores in second, and seniors in third. For Facebook the tenth grade shows that they use this form of social media far more than the eighth graders who use it a little, and the seniors who are barely visible on the graph. The centers are fairly accurate and orve to match the means well.

8 graph

10 graph

12 graph

combine graph

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Tales from Pettisville, Volume 1: Corruption Uncovered by Gus Landis

This is the first installment of an on-going series  where readers will enter the world of an investigative reporter as he peels back the many layers of a town called Pettisville.

A year ago one intrepid reporter began his career in small town in Ohio, a town called Pettisville.  Working for a local newspaper called, The Towne Crier, he uncovered the violent, seedy underbelly of Pettisville. Over the course of three months he documented the corruption and depravity of the seemingly quiet community in a shocking expose that is set to be published in a series of well written and horrifying volumes.

Beginning in June our reporter, who will remain anonymous, began to notice the level of incompetence with which the businesses in town were run, including his own place of employment, The Towne Crier.

Last week a clerical error at Pettisville’s own Towne Crier threatened to destroy what would otherwise have been a calm and productive   workday.   A manager at the Towne Crier is reported to have ordered no less than 20 safes from Pettisville’s Taylor Office Supplies.  Thanks only to the diligence and reading abilities of the 18 Wheeler Trucking staff was this disaster averted; a disaster that would have cost the Towne Crier roughly $10,000 dollars. The Towne Crier refuses to comment on the incident other than to say that the problem is under investigation and may lead to changes in management come August.  Management at the Towne Crier has been troubled and under constant scrutiny for the past several weeks.  Claims of mismanagement have come despite a very successful run financially, since the new management took over.  At this time The Towne Crier is actually expanding and hiring a new reporter due to successful sales and unexpected interest in the newspaper, even into the 21st century.  The new management also refused to comment on the safe issue but were willing to talk to me about the graffiti left on the Towne Crier offices. Someone wearing dark clothing and expensive sneakers was caught on security cameras spray painting Towne Crybaby across the front of the Towne Crier offices.  As of now the culprit is still at large. Chief of Police Mercury has refused to put any resources towards the problem saying that he “…really didn’t care about this information.”  Always a reassuring thing to hear from your Police Chief.

Of course this sort of incompetence, when allowed to go unchecked will eventually permeate every level of an organization.

The Towne Crier is due for several major changes come August.  As previously reported a manager of the Crier is to be fired due to his incompetence in regard to his paper work.  Also the weatherman at the Crier is to be let go after his alcoholism became more of an issue this July. Over the past four weeks he has reported snow, freezing temperatures and a record breaking heatwave.  This week he handed in just one report to cover seven days worth of weather.  These issues have become a concern for the Towne Crier who plans to make major changes in the coming months.

Unfortunately The Towne Crier isn’t the only business in Pettisville that’s running somewhere south of smooth.

All is not well at Buckeye Equipment.  By looking at their books and the efficiency with which the business is run you would never know it but inside one of Pettisville’s most successful businesses may be a very dark secret. Neighbors and passersby have reported what sounds like violent arguments and confrontations between managers and staff at Buckeye’s offices in Pettisville.  On days when one manager or the other is not available to work there have been no such reports.  But on most days, when both managers of Buckeye arrive to work in the morning…well, some sources say it is dangerous indeed.  A reporter from the Towne Crier attempted to interview Buckeye employees about these strange reports but was chased away and heckled very rudely by Buckeye managers, whose names will be withheld for the time being.  What could cause such secrecy?  Could there be more secrets in Pettisville than most people know?  Looking at this month with all it’s strange stories this reporter must ask; Is this sleepy little town just that or is there something more sinister, more criminal, at work in the streets of Pettisville?

The business owners weren’t the only people in Pettisville affected by the ridiculous shenanigans of a few. Throughout the town of Pettisville people were left distressed, and it wasn’t just because they lived in Ohio. No the people of Pettisville are often left in strange and undesirable situations, forced to become involved with the worst kinds of people, rich people.

On July 19th The Fabric Workers Local 804 went on strike outside the Denim Maker on 725 Gold Mine Ln. in Pettisville.  Picketers allowed me through the line to speak with the manager of the Denim Maker, [Name Withheld].  When I asked about the strike Mr. Clement took a moment to consult his books before responding, “I’m having a strike?”  After his initial confusion Mr. Clement was able to remember the events leading up to and encompassing the current strike. Apparently my question had caught the manager off guard and still half asleep as Mr. Clement stated, “We were up until 5am negotiating new contracts with the workers but it didn’t work out. The strike started around six this morning.”Mr. Clement says until a settlement can be reached the Denim Maker will be run with a skeleton crew of only a few workers.  But with such a small crew they’ll barely be meeting minimum production standards.  As demonstrated by one protester who was fond of lighting fires, the factory will require security to allow any production to continue. However with Pettisville Police already stretched thin to deal with problems between the managers of Taylor Office Supplies and Lee Community Center, as well as several other issues Chief Mercury says that he won’t be able to provide adequate security to the factory before muttering something to the effect of “I hate my job.”  However management at the Denim Maker is optimistic about the outcome of the strike saying that they expect the strike to end as soon as everyone comes back to work.  Until then the Denim Maker plans to remain open for business.  The protesters were unwilling to speak as of yet but reporters will continue to cover this story and it’s effects on the community for the duration of the strike.

Corruption, deception, confusion; people treated like animals and animals treated inhumanely.  Pettisville was a wealth of intrigue, a pit of despair for those living there, and a menagerie of characters for the outside world to view at.  As a reporter I feel that it is my job to make people feel better about themselves by letting them compare themselves to the worst society has to offer, and I will do my duty.  The Tales from Pettisville series will continue in a second installment entitled, Volume 2: Commanders in Chief, coming soon.


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March Horoscopes by: Thad Cwiklinski and Gus Landis

Sagittarius- No matter what anyone says, the green face paint and perpetual chanting of, “a wimbawet a wimbawet a wimbawet a wimbawet,” will make you the life of the party at every club, bat mitzvah, and funeral you attend.

Capricorn- Your neighbors, the ones with the pool and the weird gnome statues, will be getting a new foreign exchange student (que maracas)…Esteban.  The stars aren’t saying you should creepily stalk (que maracas)…Esteban…but if you set up on your roof with a pair of binoculars and a bag of Cheetos you’ll be able to see (que maracas)…Esteban…at all hours of the day.

Aquarius- Hey, did you hear that Marvel got back the rights to make Spiderman movies.  In a similar situation you’ll be hearing from your real parents soon…you did know you were adopted, right?

Pisces- You will meet the Pope and endure a little humiliation after trying to make small talk by saying, “Hows the family?”  To your credit, he does wear a ring.

Aries- You know that recurring dream you have where wrapped in a suit of armor made solely of bacon, you run laps on an ice rink fending off gnomes with your prehensile tail, duct tape, and forty gallons of water?  Yeah, the stars don’t get that one either.

Taurus- Why is it that your parents always walk in when you’re performing the ritual to summon Gorbo, the ancient Scandinavian god of toothpaste?  The stars chalk it up to poor time management.

Gemini-  The stars have some good news, and some bad news.  You will wake up tomorrow with crab claws for hands but on that bright side, that one hangnail you’ve been complaining about…

Cancer- Your pest control start up’s strategy of gradually reducing pest’s daily food supply will take a hit due to poor economic conditions and a surplus of tapioca pudding.  So much for “Varmints be Starvin’”.

Leo- To paraphrase the great John Fogarty, “I see a bad moon rising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin’ / I see bad times today.”

Virgo- Provided you avoid eye contact and say, “What ho!”, “forsooth”, or “methinks”, after every breath in your upcoming job interview, the stars have a good feeling about you getting to work in that fast food drive-thru.

Libra- Follow your dreams of rock stardom, get famous, make a hit album, become a diva, claim everyone has changed, have a falling out, make bad music, realize you’ve changed, obtain a vaguely defined office job, star in a documentary about your rise and fall like the washed up star you are, now that your dreams have been crushed work your 9 to 5 like you’re supposed to.

Scorpio- While eating your Eggos you’ll be drawn into an argument over the appropriate pronunciation of syrup.  The stars can’t tell more, they’re busy arguing about syrup too.


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York Catholic’s Mini-Thon By Kathleen Byrne & Alex Johnson

On March 7, 2015, York Catholic High School held it’s third annual Mini-Thon. This year’s goal was to raise a minimum of  $10,000. The students were given an incentive to raise at least $200.00 with the reward of pieing Mrs. Seufert and Mr. Bailey in the face. The weeks leading up to Mini-Thon were filled with class wars where the Seniors were dominating. Finally, the date had arrived and students shuffled into the gym ready for a night of Zumba, Mr.YC, Speed ball, Family Feud, dancing, and of course the food. The festivities began with a moving story by a family who have benefited from the Four Diamonds Fund. Following that was the line-dancer to the tune of “Don’t you worry child”.  Following that students danced the “Cupid Shuffle” which was followed by a relay-race. After those 3  events, students were shuffled into the auditorium to witness Mr.YC. The senior boys competing were Michael Sterling, Luca Grippi, Austin Shaffer, Kyle Brennan, Jake Krevetski, Stevie Brenneman, Eric Schlough, and Max Hamlett. Through a series of rounds, these men were rewarded anywhere from 8-1 points. In the end, Luca Grippi took home the title of Mr. YC and a free tux rental from Men’s Warehouse. Next it was time for Mr. Bailey and Mrs. Seufert to take a pie to the face (or hair).  All students who managed to raise $200.00 or more were given two pies to throw on the face of the principal and vice-principal. After that festivity, students spaced out to play Dodge ball, Speed ball, 4 Square, and Corn hole, dance their butts off at Zumba, or get down to business and eat their weight in Pizza and Chicken Wings. Personally we made a beeline to Zumba where we attempted to execute the dance moves the instructor was throwing at us. Our attempt was admirable but pathetic. After about 25 minutes of Zumba, it was time to compete in Family Feud. Our  team settled on our Family name being The Kardashians where Alex Johnson was Kylie Jenner, Caitlin Bowser as Khloe Kardashian, Carolyn Albright as Kim Kardashian, Courtney Sheckells as Kourtney Kardashian, and myself as Lord (Scott) Disick. There were six families competing and Team Kardashians made it all the way into the final round. We faced a team made up of  Brittany Maas, Cassie Moore, Catherine Doyle, Richard Mezza, and Anosh Matti. The Kardashians reigned supreme and took home the title of YC’s family feud champions. Afterwards it came time for dancing, speed ball competitions, or hung out in the cafeteria where a small group of us danced to the music the DJ was playing. Next, it came time for hair donations. The best part was watching the surprise of the donors faces when their hair was gone.  Lastly was free time.  There was an open gym and open dance floor.  Most people decided to relive their childhood and played four square.  At the end we were shown the total amount of money the school raised. We raised about $14, 503.22.  Overall I think it was a successful Mini Thon.


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Spring Sports Preview by Jordan Lesher

With the weather warming up ever so slightly, the calendar turning to March, and the girls basketball team already winning their 10th straight district title, all the signs that spring sports are coming up are evident. The spring sports at York Catholic are guys and girls lacrosse, baseball, guys tennis and track and field. All of these teams are coming off of good 2014 seasons, with Girls Lacrosse capturing their first county title, and Baseball making it to their second straight district title game. Here’s a breakdown of each team and what the players of each team has to say about their respective season.

Baseball- The York Catholic baseball team is coming off of a great 2014 season, after their second straight trip to the District title game, and their second consecutive appearance in States. The baseball team brings in many young players to build around a core group of seniors that look to carry the team to their second district title in three years, and maybe even farther. “We have a young team who will be brought up and coached well. We are expecting some superb pitching from our center fielder and ace, Jake Krevetski.” mentions outfielder CJ Burnside. Senior Jake Krevetski, added this comment, “ We lost a great group of seniors last year but have some good young talent that will step up and make an impact. We should have a solid pitching staff and I am expecting another successful year!” With words like that from two of their best seniors, the York Catholic baseball team looks to have set the bar high for the 2015 season, as this year’s group of seniors look to go out on top as champions, and believe that they have the roster and talent to do so.

Boys Lacrosse- Coming off of a 5-11 season last year, the York Catholic guys lacrosse team is looking to improve their record for the 2015 campaign. The team brings back many players from last season’s team, and have many young players ready to step up and make an impact. Senior Michael Sterling had this to say about his expectations for where he sees the team heading in his senior season “After three disappointing seasons, I feel like our team is ready to take the next step. Our goal is to be playing in the YAIAA championship game in May. We have worked extremely hard this off-season and have huge expectations as the season begins. We have a very talented team this year and we are lucky to have Coach Harper and Coach Kearney. I am joined by my fellow captains Alec Lloyd, Eric Schlough, and Luke Brennan. We will take each game one at a time and see where we are at the end of the season.” Fellow captain Luke Brennan had this to add about the 2015 season. “”I have high expectations for our team this year. Our preseason open gyms were filled with excitement and hard work to prepare ourselves for the upcoming season. A huge advantage is our returning leadership in captain Michael Sterling. One of the main focuses for this season is our attitude on and off the field. We want to look, act, and play like champions who proudly represent York Catholic. We have been blessed with two great coaches who get the most out of us and plan to take us to a County Championship.”

Girls Lacrosse- After a 2014 season in which the girls captured their first county championship, the York Catholic Girls Lacrosse team is looking to build on the success of 2014 by going back to the county championship game, and maybe even farther. Junior Maura Palandro had this to say about the upcoming season. “This season is going to be exciting and challenging. I believe we have some great underclassmen to add to our roster to help us have a successful season. Coming off our county championship win last year will help us set the tone for this season and the expectations that come with it. York catholic girls lacrosse will have another great season this year and I’m excited for what’s in store”. Fellow junior Lindsey China had this to add as well “Despite the loss of several starters from last year’s county championship team, the returning players, led by the sole senior Shannon Moore, and the large group of new players are ready to defend our county championship!”

Track and Field- This year’s track team is running alongside York Tech and York Country Day School. Senior runner Thad Cwiklinski had this to say about his goals for his senior season. “After a one loss season for both boys and girls, both track teams hope to finally win the division championship in a co-op with York County School of Technology and York Country Day.  And maybe even be included in the yearbook this year.”

Guy’s Tennis- After making a run to Districts last season, the York Catholic Guy’s Tennis team looks to build on last year’s success, and return to Districts with winning York Catholic’s first Tennis district title in mind. Led by seniors Jacob Kondrasuk, Scott Bartkowiak, Thomas Thole, and Isaac Higgins, the team looks to build upon last year’s success, and has the talent and work ethic to get there. The team also brings back junior Mike Andrews, who went to individual Districts last year as well as Scott Bartkowiak, who look to have a few more members of the team joining them in May.



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